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Love is a Choice

Remember when you had your first crush and you couldn't eat because every time you thought about the other person your stomach tied into knots? Remember the thrill and excitement you felt every time your future spouse picked you up for a date, or the thought of endless romance you conjured up when you decided to marry? If you've been married for any length of time, chances are you've discovered that those dopamine-induced love fantasies don't last forever. In order for a marriage to last, both spouses have to choose to continually improve the relationship and determine that it's going to last. For those who go into marriage thinking that it's going to be sex and roses forever are naive and chances of success are significantly lowered.

So, if you realize that love isn't always going to be warm, fuzzy feelings, what can you do to help keep the romance alive and the relationship strong? Below are a list of 5 ideas for increasing those love chemicals and improving the quality of your marriage.

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1. Do Things for your Partner

This is one of the simplest ways to increase the feelings of love. Everyone likes to feel special and know that someone else values them enough to treat them that way. This can be as simple as putting a little note in your husbands lunchbox, or leaving a rose on your wifes pillow. Every little positive thing that you do for each other boosts the others feeling of worth. Not only does it encourage the other person, but you will be amazed at how much better you feel after doing something nice for your partner! Seeing the happiness that your gesture produces in the other person will automatically raise your happiness level as well.

2. Volunteer Together

It is so easy to get wrapped up in day-to-day life that we sometimes forget to look outside and see what else is going on. Volunteering as a single is a very rewarding experience. It is a chance to feel good about helping others who have less than you do, and in the process can make you very grateful for what you do have. Volunteering together allows you to both experience feelings of gratefulness and change together, increasing the chances that you will both feel grateful for each other and the life that you share.

3. Exercise Together

We all know that this country is in the midst of a severe obesity epidemic. Perhaps part of the problem in your marriage is weight one or both of you have gained weight and feel unhappy with yourselves. If excess weight and lack of exercise have you feeling down and unmotivated, exercising with your partner is a great way to increase your health and your partnership. Some of the same chemicals that are released during the romantic phases of your relationship are also released during exercise. So not only will you both begin to feel better about yourselves and become more energetic, but who knows what that shower after your run could lead to!

4. Have Sex

For some people this might be a duh point, but for others it's important to realize that making time for sex is critical to a healthy relationship. Not only does having sex increase health benefits such as lowering risk for heart attack, increasing the immune system, and relieving stress, but it significantly raises the level of intimacy. Sex makes a person feel happy and satisfied. If you want to make the most of your sexual experiences try setting the mood with soft music or some candles. Of course sex anytime is a good option, but raising the romance level a bit will only make it better.

5. Communicate

This might be one of the top reasons why marriages fail no communication. When you decide to live and share your life with another person, it is vital to make sure you talk to each other and keep the lines of communication always open. This means that it's important not just to talk to one another, but also to listen to one another. There will be times that you want to start screaming at the other person, or maybe you want to tune out and walk away, but this can be a very slippery slope. It is obvious to everyone that men and women are very different, and therefore we are not always going to understand what makes our partners do what they do. However, if you determine to always communicate and put forth the effort to understand your partner, you will be well on your way to a healthy marriage.

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Posted in Renovations Post Date 04/24/2016


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